


You Thought You Could Fuck Without My Smegma?

by transhitman



Category: ReBoot (TV)
Genre: F/M, excessive foreskin, excessive smegma, green giant tw, pussy guns tw, this is the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transhitman/pseuds/transhitman
Summary: Please if you read this use your coochie gun on me and then yourself





	You Thought You Could Fuck Without My Smegma?

**Author's Note:**

> Good god what have we wrought

User, why the fuck was Ray so horny? Why here? Why now? Mouse was trying to console Dot about the fact that there were now two, count them, two blue dudes running around Mainframe, and Dot wanted to peg both of them. Why did he have to be so horny? His dick had nowhere to run in that stupid wet suit of his. Come to think of it, did he even have a dick? How does he even... 

But at just that moment, as Mouse closed the VidWindow, she got her answer. The surfboard unfurled its massive schlong. Love that.

“Please ma’am,” Ray whimpered, pathetically, “may I  _ please _ have some coochie?” Ray struggled to get the words out of his little whore mouth, as his throat was constricted by the spiked collar he wore in broad daylight for some reason. Mouse grabbed his leash and tugged. 

“No coochie for earless little bitches,” Mouse sneered. “You will forever remain with your pee pee unwhacked, vile young man.”

Ray groaned, his surfboard twitching with every word. He loved it when she was rude, even though he couldn’t hear shit without goddamn ears. “Please ma’am, at least give me your thick, wooden strap.”

“You haven’t earned it, but I guess I’m bored, Candy Hole.”

“Ooogha splinters in my bum bum hole… you know I love that shit…” he purred, rubbing his stupid hard cock against his palm.

“You’ll stroke when I tell you to stroke,” Mouse also purred. She rebooted, unsheathing her massive wooden cock. Dipping the wooden horror-show into the jar of vegemite next to her, she lubed her member thoroughly. 

Ray licked his lips at the sight, feeling one hundred times hornier, if that was even possible. “Vegemite toast has always been my favorite,” Ray cooed. 

“I know you fucking dirty incel,” Mouse growled, proceeding to thrust her Australian spread-covered ding dong down his willing throat. 

“Yoy mommy!!!!!!!!!” Ray’s bonerboard did a frontflip. But it accidentally grabbed onto his collar with its hind dickballs and made him get owied…..

Ray climaxed, “OW OW OW MAMA MY DICK BALLS!!!! MY KANGAROO PEE AHHH DON’T MAKE ME SHIT MY PANTS LIKE A BAD BOY MOMMMMYYY AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” Mouse was eating his goggles.

“You won’t shit your pants if you want to keep your dickboard you fucking cunt. Your balls are worthless to me, you nasty little boy.”

Ray looked at her with eyes like the void and also like the pink slime they use to make the MacDonald’s chicken nuggers. He loved her like he loved his prosthetic ears, which he had left at home. Dumb bitch.

Ray ate the batteries in his LED ear prosthetics. Cronch. Mmmm quality acid. That’s a spicy a’meatball. That’s why he didn’t bring them anywhere it was because he ate the batteries that fueled his hateful machines. Also they were ugly and caucasian. He hated being associated with the white trash from whence he came. And whence he cummed.

Anyway, Ray had a big boner again, and also Mouse was still being a meanie with her pinewood cock shoved mercilessly down his gullet. Little did Mouse know that Ray had a magic dick that was never  _ not _ hard.  _ Alphanumeric! _

As if hearing his calling card, Matrix kicked down the door, unravelling his 16 foot foreskin, letting it lap at the feet of the pair of horny people with accents. “Thought you could  _ fuck _ without  _ my smegma? _ ” he roared. His vocal chords were so strong they were like Frisket’s jaws but less clapped and they were a way to yell at horny sinners. Matrix picked up his foreskin, slapping it across Ray’s face and ass in one fluid motion. Ray whimpered at the action as his cheeks jiggled, both sets. His horniness was so off the charts he almost didn’t know what to do with himself but squirt hot smooth milky smegma all over the board and his tiddies.

“Ugly LITTLE green man,” Mouse chortled, pulling a gun out of her coochie. “If only I had half of the technology of Phong’s drawer of pubes, I could slaughter you here and now, you filthy cuck.”

Meanwhile, Ray was licking the vegemite all off the wooden schlong, sating his hunger for the bitter concoction… for now. He pulled back. “We need more fucking vegemite, ma’am.”

“We’ll go to Costco tomorrow, you filthy waste of code.”

Matrix, unwilling to be left on the back burner, once again sent his schlong skin hurtling down Ray’s willing throat and into his tummy. He wanted to get it so far down he could grab it from his booty hole. 

“This Green Giant doesn’t come butter sauce, be warned,” Enzo growled. “He only comes pure power.”

Ray gurgled around the excessive amount of smegma crusted foreskin. 

Mouse still stood, stock still, with her pussy gun directed at Matrix’s head. “I wouldn’t own a pussy gun if I was afraid to use it,” she retorted, and pulled the trigger, releasing a stream of urine which would have caused Matrix to drown if he had not first covered his mouth with his dick skin.

“I can’t believe Enzo passed away,” Ray mumbled, thinking Matrix had actually fucking died like the dumbass cuck he was. Mouse was the realest morosexual. Thinking Matrix was dead, Ray reached for his knife, with the inscription, “ _ for Matrix’s nipple holes only” _ to cut off Matrix’s nipple skin. It would come in handy later. His anniversary with Mouse was coming up, and he wanted her to have some nice new tiddies to mount on her wall.

“Can I still chew on his foreskin?” Ray asked, with the roundest puppy eyes he could muster. “Pwease ma’am… I’m starving and only a dead man’s foreskin can satisfy my honger…”

Mouse roughly struck Ray across his pathetic little face. “Hold yourself together, Bussy boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Phong hired a deep web hitman and killed us before we could finish


End file.
